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How To Cut the Clutter and Win Readers

Most of us hate housework.Nevertheless,dim light of the forest; this one was
even the most hopeless slobs amongst usentirely by itself.
would agree that we love having a clean,
organised house. It looks more inviting.What's Wrong With The Above
It's easy to find what you want, whenScene?Plenty! I'm amazed you've
you want it. If only it didn't take sopersevered this far. (It made me
much time to get it that way!If you'renauseous just having to write it.) Okay,
lucky enough to have a cleaner, thenI've exaggerated the problems in the
you've solved the problem. It's someoneabove excerpt somewhat to make my point
else's job to clean up and get rid of- but I've seen worse. Much worse,
the dust and the mess. Most of us don'tactually.Here are some of the problems
have that luxury. If we want a clean andin the scene I created:
clutter-free environment, we have to
work to get it that way.It's exactly theOver-explaining; repetition. We are
same when it comes to writing. If youshown that Marcy is in a state of panic
want a fresh, clutter-free piece of textby the way she's racing through the
- you have to clean it up yourself.forest 'not daring to look behind her'.
Readers don't like to be surrounded byIt's not necessary to add 'in her state
clutter any more than you do.What Isof raw panic' or even 'her reckless
"Clutter"?"Clutter" in writing may beheadlong course'. Ditto for the words
described as anything that clogs up the'strange' and 'plant' - look for the
channel between the writer's imaginationinstances of repetition. The fact that a
and the reader's experience. If you havevine is 'handy' implies that it is
a hard time identifying what is clutternearby, and it's in the nature of vines
and what isn't, use these points toto swing - so we don't need the words
guide you.'nearby' or 'swinging'.Trees are just
trees; vines are just vines. Marcy is
Be guided by the viewpoint character'sgetting caught up in them because she's
thoughts, emotions and reactions. Climbrunning blindly to get away from her
inside the skin of the viewpointpursuer(s). Unless she's in some kind of
character. What does he/she feel? Think?enchanted forest, the trees could not be
Decide? When something happens, whattaking 'evil' swipes, and they are not
would this character's logical reaction'attacking' her in some 'savage
be?If something is not noticed by theassault'. The writer should be showing
viewpoint character, or is notMarcy's fear through her thoughts and
important, don't put it in.Don'treactions, rather than attempting to
over-explain. Remember that we all comegenerate suspense through giving the
to any novel with a host of experiencestrees human attributes.Marcy's main aim
behind us. Readers and authors shareis to escape her pursuers. Put yourself
many common experiences. For example:in Marcy's place. If you were running
mention the word 'vomit' and that isfrom someone or something, what would be
quite enough for most readers to fill inyour main concern? (a) to get away and
the gaps. They don't need you to go into(b) to make sure they were nowhere close
detail about the smell, texture, colourif you had to stop. If you had to stop
and so on.Avoid the temptation toto catch your breath, is it likely you
personify inanimate objects. If youwould suddenly forget your pursuers to
attribute human characteristics orlook more closely at a strange plant? Of
emotions to anything from a mailbox to acourse not. You'd listen for sounds of
rock, it (a) distracts the reader,pursuit and decide whether you needed to
focusing his/her attention on somethingkeep going or hide.Make sure your
that is not important and (b) reducescharacters act logically. Anything else
the impact of the human character'sis clutter. (In this case, if the
emotions. (In a fantasy novel, ofstrange plant is important to the plot,
course, you may have all sorts ofthink of a more convincing way to bring
strange objects or creatures that takeit into the story rather than plonking
on human characteristics.)Avoidit right in Marcy's path and having her
repetition. This means repeated words or'suddenly' notice it.)Avoid long
phrases (often repeated because thesentences with lots of detail when you
writer is too lazy to find anare trying to create the impression of
alternative) and repeated ideas. Youhaste and fear. For example: "Tripping
don't need to explain the same thingon a protruding root she half-fell, but
three different ways.Avoid words thatrecovered quickly, maintaining her
will be unfamiliar to most readers.reckless headlong course through the
Don't take the high road and decide thatknotted vines and lashing branches that
it's your job to improve your readers'were taking evil swipes at her as she
vocabularies. Most of them won't thankran." Do we feel Marcy's terror? Can we
you for it. They don't want to put downfeel the burning of her lungs as she
the book and go find a dictionary. Oneruns, gasping for air? Can we feel the
unfamiliar word isn't a problem; a bookpain as she falls? No, no and no. The
full of them annoys the readerwriter is telling, not showing. In this
intensely. Do you want to annoy yoursentence, the main character seems
readers? I hope not.somewhat removed from what is happening
to her. We're reading about her rather
An Example Of A Scene Filled Withthan looking through her eyes.There's an
Clutterover-reliance on the '...ing'
Gasping for air, Marcy raced throughconstruction. This is one of the main
the dark green forest, not daring toculprits in making a passage of text
look behind her in her state of rawslow-paced and repetitive. In the
panic. Tripping on a protruding root sheexample above we have sentences starting
half-fell, but recovered quickly andwith "gasping"; "tripping"; "wishing"
maintained her reckless headlong courseand "taking" - not to mention the other
through the knotted vines and lashing"ing" words that pepper the text:
branches that were taking evil swipes at"protruding", "maintaining", "lashing",
her as she ran. She had to get away from"echoing", "falling", "taking", and
her pursuers."Ouch!" she yelped as yet"swinging". Check all your work to make
another branch attacked her, thesure you're not showing symptoms of the
'thwack' of its savage assault echoing"ing" disease!
through the half-light. Almost falling
again she managed to recover, grabbingThese are just a few of the things that
on to a handy nearby swinging vine tocan clutter your writing and make it
save herself. Wishing she had never sethard for the reader to struggle through.
out on this trip, she decided to stop toCut the clutter - and keep your readers
catch her breath. Taking the opportunityturning pages.(c) copyright Marg
to look around, she suddenly saw aMcAlisterMarg McAlister has published
strange plant, its leaves an odd mottledmagazine articles, short stories, books
purple that was at odds with all thefor children, ezines, promotional
greenery that surrounded it on everymaterial, sales letters and web content.
side. What a strange plant, sheShe has written 5 distance education
thought.Going over to take a closercourses on writing, and her online help
look, she was intrigued by the way thefor writers is popular all over the
plant seemed to be in a space of itsworld.
own. No other plants grew close in the



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