| Most of us hate housework.Nevertheless,
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| | the dim light of the forest; this one was
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| even the most hopeless slobs amongst us
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| | entirely by itself.
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| would agree that we love having a clean,
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| |
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| organised house. It looks more inviting.
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| | What's Wrong With The Above
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| It's easy to find what you want, when you
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| | Scene?Plenty! I'm amazed you've
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| want it. If only it didn't take so much
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| | persevered this far. (It made me nauseous
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| time to get it that way!If you're lucky
| |
| | just having to write it.) Okay, I've
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| enough to have a cleaner, then you've
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| | exaggerated the problems in the above
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| solved the problem. It's someone else's
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| | excerpt somewhat to make my point - but
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| job to clean up and get rid of the dust
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| | I've seen worse. Much worse,
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| and the mess. Most of us don't have that
| |
| | actually.Here are some of the problems in
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| luxury. If we want a clean and
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| | the scene I created:
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| clutter-free environment, we have to work
| |
| |
|
| to get it that way.It's exactly the same
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| | Over-explaining; repetition. We are
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| when it comes to writing. If you want a
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| | shown that Marcy is in a state of panic
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| fresh, clutter-free piece of text - you
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| | by the way she's racing through the
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| have to clean it up yourself. Readers
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| | forest 'not daring to look behind her'.
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| don't like to be surrounded by clutter
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| | It's not necessary to add 'in her state
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| any more than you do.What Is
| |
| | of raw panic' or even 'her reckless
|
| "Clutter"?"Clutter" in writing may be
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| | headlong course'. Ditto for the words
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| described as anything that clogs up the
| |
| | 'strange' and 'plant' - look for the
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| channel between the writer's imagination
| |
| | instances of repetition. The fact that a
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| and the reader's experience. If you have
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| | vine is 'handy' implies that it is
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| a hard time identifying what is clutter
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| | nearby, and it's in the nature of vines
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| and what isn't, use these points to guide
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| | to swing - so we don't need the words
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| you.
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| | 'nearby' or 'swinging'.Trees are just
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|
| |
| | trees; vines are just vines. Marcy is
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| Be guided by the viewpoint character's
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| | getting caught up in them because she's
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| thoughts, emotions and reactions. Climb
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| | running blindly to get away from her
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| inside the skin of the viewpoint
| |
| | pursuer(s). Unless she's in some kind of
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| character. What does he/she feel? Think?
| |
| | enchanted forest, the trees could not be
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| Decide? When something happens, what
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| | taking 'evil' swipes, and they are not
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| would this character's logical reaction
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| | 'attacking' her in some 'savage assault'.
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| be?If something is not noticed by the
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| | The writer should be showing Marcy's fear
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| viewpoint character, or is not important,
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| | through her thoughts and reactions,
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| don't put it in.Don't over-explain.
| |
| | rather than attempting to generate
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| Remember that we all come to any novel
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| | suspense through giving the trees human
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| with a host of experiences behind us.
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| | attributes.Marcy's main aim is to escape
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| Readers and authors share many common
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| | her pursuers. Put yourself in Marcy's
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| experiences. For example: mention the
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| | place. If you were running from someone
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| word 'vomit' and that is quite enough for
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| | or something, what would be your main
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| most readers to fill in the gaps. They
| |
| | concern? (a) to get away and (b) to make
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| don't need you to go into detail about
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| | sure they were nowhere close if you had
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| the smell, texture, colour and so
| |
| | to stop. If you had to stop to catch your
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| on.Avoid the temptation to personify
| |
| | breath, is it likely you would suddenly
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| inanimate objects. If you attribute human
| |
| | forget your pursuers to look more closely
|
| characteristics or emotions to anything
| |
| | at a strange plant? Of course not. You'd
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| from a mailbox to a rock, it (a)
| |
| | listen for sounds of pursuit and decide
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| distracts the reader, focusing his/her
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| | whether you needed to keep going or
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| attention on something that is not
| |
| | hide.Make sure your characters act
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| important and (b) reduces the impact of
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| | logically. Anything else is clutter. (In
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| the human character's emotions. (In a
| |
| | this case, if the strange plant is
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| fantasy novel, of course, you may have
| |
| | important to the plot, think of a more
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| all sorts of strange objects or creatures
| |
| | convincing way to bring it into the story
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| that take on human characteristics.)Avoid
| |
| | rather than plonking it right in Marcy's
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| repetition. This means repeated words or
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| | path and having her 'suddenly' notice
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| phrases (often repeated because the
| |
| | it.)Avoid long sentences with lots of
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| writer is too lazy to find an
| |
| | detail when you are trying to create the
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| alternative) and repeated ideas. You
| |
| | impression of haste and fear. For
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| don't need to explain the same thing
| |
| | example: "Tripping on a protruding root
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| three different ways.Avoid words that
| |
| | she half-fell, but recovered quickly,
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| will be unfamiliar to most readers. Don't
| |
| | maintaining her reckless headlong course
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| take the high road and decide that it's
| |
| | through the knotted vines and lashing
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| your job to improve your readers'
| |
| | branches that were taking evil swipes at
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| vocabularies. Most of them won't thank
| |
| | her as she ran." Do we feel Marcy's
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| you for it. They don't want to put down
| |
| | terror? Can we feel the burning of her
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| the book and go find a dictionary. One
| |
| | lungs as she runs, gasping for air? Can
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| unfamiliar word isn't a problem; a book
| |
| | we feel the pain as she falls? No, no and
|
| full of them annoys the reader intensely.
| |
| | no. The writer is telling, not showing.
|
| Do you want to annoy your readers? I hope
| |
| | In this sentence, the main character
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| not.
| |
| | seems somewhat removed from what is
|
|
| |
| | happening to her. We're reading about her
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| An Example Of A Scene Filled With
| |
| | rather than looking through her
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| Clutter
| |
| | eyes.There's an over-reliance on the
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| Gasping for air, Marcy raced through the
| |
| | '...ing' construction. This is one of the
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| dark green forest, not daring to look
| |
| | main culprits in making a passage of text
|
| behind her in her state of raw panic.
| |
| | slow-paced and repetitive. In the example
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| Tripping on a protruding root she
| |
| | above we have sentences starting with
|
| half-fell, but recovered quickly and
| |
| | "gasping"; "tripping"; "wishing" and
|
| maintained her reckless headlong course
| |
| | "taking" - not to mention the other "ing"
|
| through the knotted vines and lashing
| |
| | words that pepper the text: "protruding",
|
| branches that were taking evil swipes at
| |
| | "maintaining", "lashing", "echoing",
|
| her as she ran. She had to get away from
| |
| | "falling", "taking", and "swinging".
|
| her pursuers."Ouch!" she yelped as yet
| |
| | Check all your work to make sure you're
|
| another branch attacked her, the 'thwack'
| |
| | not showing symptoms of the "ing"
|
| of its savage assault echoing through the
| |
| | disease!
|
| half-light. Almost falling again she
| |
| |
|
| managed to recover, grabbing on to a
| |
| | These are just a few of the things that
|
| handy nearby swinging vine to save
| |
| | can clutter your writing and make it hard
|
| herself. Wishing she had never set out on
| |
| | for the reader to struggle through. Cut
|
| this trip, she decided to stop to catch
| |
| | the clutter - and keep your readers
|
| her breath. Taking the opportunity to
| |
| | turning pages.(c) copyright Marg
|
| look around, she suddenly saw a strange
| |
| | McAlisterMarg McAlister has published
|
| plant, its leaves an odd mottled purple
| |
| | magazine articles, short stories, books
|
| that was at odds with all the greenery
| |
| | for children, ezines, promotional
|
| that surrounded it on every side. What a
| |
| | material, sales letters and web content.
|
| strange plant, she thought.Going over to
| |
| | She has written 5 distance education
|
| take a closer look, she was intrigued by
| |
| | courses on writing, and her online help
|
| the way the plant seemed to be in a space
| |
| | for writers is popular all over the
|
| of its own. No other plants grew close in
| |
| | world.
|
