| Sad, but true. Just about everywhere you
| |
| | your wife's hair dryer (when she'd gone
|
| look online, the English language is
| |
| | out of the house, natch), and then
|
| suffering a fate worse than death. The
| |
| | gingerly covering it with a special jelly
|
| problem, in reality, is so widespread
| |
| | for sofness. You know, just your average
|
| that it has begun to affect all aspects
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| | 3-Step Recycling Process used mainly in
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| of the language. "But, what on Earth does
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| | Third World countries like Wyoming, for
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| this have to do with Internet marketing?"
| |
| | instance...For the purposes of this
|
| you may be asking. Well, my fellow
| |
| | little tale, let's call this first
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| netpreneur...Everything!It has everything
| |
| | marketer, Butcher D. Grammer.Well, this
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| to do with Internet marketing if you wish
| |
| | confounded fellow started something which
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| to portray yourself, and be perceived as,
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| | has become a movement, or a new language
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| a Marketing Professional on the internet.
| |
| | convention. Butcher decided that the
|
| Just remember, professionally speaking,
| |
| | little fellow, my friend the apostrophe,
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| Image is Everything. On the other hand,
| |
| | should not be used according to any rules
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| if you're not particularly interested in
| |
| | or previous language conventions; heck
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| putting your 'best foot forward' when
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| | no, the little fellow would, according to
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| marketing your services or products, and
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| | our Bathroom Recycle Consultant, be used
|
| I really hope this is not the case, then
| |
| | any ol'time.He would use it, and so would
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| none of this applies to you.Obviously, we
| |
| | the masses who were yet to come, but who
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| don't have time here to do an in-depth
| |
| | would follow suit, and our Butcher knew
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| study of the many instances of, what I
| |
| | this well, to interchangeably indicate
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| would term, "casual disdain" I've
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| | either the possessive or the plural forms
|
| witnessed online. So, in order to
| |
| | in any sentence.So, a sentence such as,
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| illustrate my point, I'll concentrate on
| |
| | "The seller does not guarantee its
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| a small, but vital component of the
| |
| | potential profit," became: "The seller
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| English language: the innocent, harmless
| |
| | does not guarantee it's potential
|
| apostrophe.Allow me to try to paint a
| |
| | profit."Here he turned the possessive
|
| picture for you. A long, long, time ago,
| |
| | form of "its" into the abbreviated, or
|
| around the time of the De Soto, the
| |
| | the contraction form of, it is. So, if
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| Corvair, bellbottoms, the VW "bug" (ring
| |
| | you were to read the second sentence,
|
| a bell?), and before beatniks became
| |
| | removing the contraction, the last part
|
| known as hippies, you could look at
| |
| | would read: "does not guarantee it is
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| advertisement copy and expect, to some
| |
| | potential."But, our little Butcher, a
|
| degree, that it had been reviewed and,
| |
| | thorough and disciplined craftsman, was
|
| presumably, corrected.In other words, it
| |
| | not through yet. After all, there was
|
| was safe for women, children, and other
| |
| | even more damage he could inflict on
|
| life forms to view it, and read its
| |
| | American English; and, leeringly, he
|
| content without suffering any permanent,
| |
| | mused, rubbing his hands together,
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| debilitating psychological damage, such
| |
| | "They'll follow me blindly
|
| as a hard to diagnose speech impediment,
| |
| | anywhere."Next, he turned his attention
|
| or maybe an involuntary nervous twitch
| |
| | to the plural form of simple words. Just
|
| across one cheek.What I see most of us
| |
| | about any word ending in "s," indicating
|
| doing now, at the dawn of the 21st
| |
| | that there was more than one object of
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| Century, is that we read ad copy, and
| |
| | whatever unit was being counted or
|
| then, because it's in bold letters on
| |
| | measured, he turned into, you guessed it,
|
| carefully selected background, surrounded
| |
| | the possessive form.Words or terms such
|
| by pretty pictures, we accept its message
| |
| | as, buyers, software tools, ingrown toe
|
| as Gospel truth. We get so bowled over by
| |
| | nails, battering ramps, fools, attractive
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| the "look" of it, that we forget to
| |
| | girls, dumb-as-can-be-guys, and many,
|
| examine it critically enough.Talk about
| |
| | many others, became: buyer's, software
|
| your viral strategy, indeed...Today, in
| |
| | tool's, ingrown toe nail's, battering
|
| the age of the cell phone, the Lexus,
| |
| | ramp's, fool's, attractive girl's,
|
| Viagra, the twenty five cent phone call,
| |
| | dumb-as-can-be-guy's.As hard to believe
|
| and a PC "in every barn," wherever I
| |
| | as it may seem, Butcher reign of terror
|
| look, I see the poor apostrophe maligned
| |
| | is still not only alive and well, but
|
| and misused. It gets no respect, either
| |
| | from what I'm going to show you, it's
|
| offline on signs, billboards, and
| |
| | expanding frighteningly. Please have a
|
| late-night Infomercials, or (shudder)
| |
| | look at the following three additional
|
| online in cyber country, on that very
| |
| | examples, and cringe in terror:1. If your
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| personal and intimate expression of its
| |
| | interested, just sign up from the link
|
| owner's taste and personality: an
| |
| | below.2. Just click here, and your
|
| individual's web site.Since I spend so
| |
| | done.3. Simply load email address's into
|
| much time online, much more, I think,
| |
| | your auto-responder.Obviously, in the
|
| than I spend on the real pavement of our
| |
| | first two sentences, Butcher and his
|
| world, I notice the glaring mistreatment
| |
| | followers have cleverly used the
|
| heaped upon our poor little fellow- the
| |
| | second-person possessive pronoun "your"
|
| apostrophe-by careless webmasters, even
| |
| | as a substitute for the abbreviated
|
| more. The main thing I notice is that the
| |
| | "you're." Their thinking being, "The heck
|
| apostrophe's originally intended use is
| |
| | with that comma-like thing which is
|
| slowly eroding; people are just making up
| |
| | supposed to go on top. Nobody will even
|
| their own versions of what its purpose
| |
| | miss it. And, we can get away with
|
| really is. This is a prime example of
| |
| | chopping off the last "e", also." (So,
|
| what I mean by "casual disdain."It's been
| |
| | once again, the apostrophe gets the
|
| reported in 'The Really Up Yonder
| |
| | shaft).As regards the third sentence
|
| Gazette', an influential publication
| |
| | shown above, quite frankly, I have no
|
| dedicated to digging up gossip about the
| |
| | comment; I wouldn't even know where to
|
| well known dearly departed, that both
| |
| | begin defining or deciphering it...I'm
|
| William Shakespeare and John Milton have
| |
| | afraid to look at it. It's just a stroke
|
| thrown up their arms in despair, and are
| |
| | of genius from the hand of our hero,
|
| contemplating turning their backs for
| |
| | Butcher, who must have found the
|
| good on something that some would
| |
| | inspiration for this little morcel during
|
| consider their own creation: our English
| |
| | a wrenching psychotic episode.Now, I
|
| language.As a matter of fact, in a recent
| |
| | don't know how other people feel about
|
| exclusive interview, "Willie boy" himself
| |
| | the sinister, pervasive, and, yes, viral
|
| bemoans the effect all of this is having
| |
| | damage caused by this one crazy guy, but
|
| on his favorite language, as follows:"Oh,
| |
| | I, for one, hope he has gone to his final
|
| perfidy that has befallen our instrument
| |
| | resting place. Let him drive them crazy
|
| of expression, by us once nearly
| |
| | over there if (God forbid) he finds
|
| refined. Oh, treachery flung upon us
| |
| | himself near a typewriter; as it is,
|
| by the masses shamelessly disdainful of
| |
| | Butcher's handiwork makes me go nuts
|
| reading and writing, of independent
| |
| | practically every day here in cyber
|
| thought evidently
| |
| | space.If only we could go back to that
|
| incapable!"Ahem...Frankly, I firmly
| |
| | time in the past, 1962 comes readily to
|
| believe that this unwarranted offense was
| |
| | mind for one reason or another, when
|
| perpetrated by one of the first guys, if
| |
| | spelling and a little attention to
|
| not the very first, who threw up that
| |
| | grammar counted for something.But, as
|
| first Web site selling, say, floppy disks
| |
| | they say, in Bolivia, "Dude, t'ain't no
|
| with instructions on how to extend the
| |
| | use complainin', 'dem 'dere day's is long
|
| mileage on single-ply bathroom tissue by
| |
| | gone.
|
| rewashing it, carefully drying it with
| |
| |
|