| Grieving is an act of love. It begins when | | | | for moving through this phase, because only |
| someone or something you love is lost, and | | | | love has the power to move us to the depths |
| the stronger the love the greater the grief. | | | | of our being where the greatest loss is |
| The act of grieving honors you and the | | | | registered. |
| significance of your loss. | | | | |
| | | | Release And Resolution. This stage of the |
| The longer you live the more loss you | | | | grief process is accompanied by a sense of |
| experience. In order to grieve in healthy | | | | acceptance of the reality of the loss, a |
| ways, you need to understand the stages of | | | | sense of "letting go." There may also be a |
| the grief process itself. | | | | degree of forgiveness that occurs in this |
| | | | phase. The denial, guilt and anger stages are |
| Shock. This is the body/mind's way of saving | | | | over, and the pain and sorrow is not as |
| you from the devastating pain of the loss, at | | | | intense as it was before. Many people ask, |
| least initially. It is a blessing at best, | | | | "How long does it take?" The answer is |
| but at worst can become a long-term numbness | | | | different according to the severity of the |
| to feelings that resembles a sort of living | | | | loss and the health of the individual who is |
| death. It will pass naturally as long as the | | | | grieving. Grieving moves in cycles, and it |
| other components of the grief process are | | | | may seem as if we are through for a |
| honored. | | | | substantial period of time. A birthday, |
| | | | anniversary or another loss can bring back |
| Denial. This is your mind's attempt to | | | | many of the same feelings that were there |
| protect you from the reality of the loss. You | | | | when our loved one died. Any loss or low |
| may lie to yourself and think about the | | | | emotional period can bring back the feelings |
| person as if they were still alive. A certain | | | | of loss, particularly if you have not reached |
| period of denial is normal but if prolonged, | | | | resolution. When the release finally occurs, |
| it can keep you stuck and prevent resolution. | | | | your entire body will feel it. I have watched |
| There are many forms of denial, as varied as | | | | many people go through emotional release in |
| people are different from each other. | | | | their grieving, and I am convinced that it is |
| | | | as much a physical, non-verbal process as it |
| Anger. When you lose someone you love, it is | | | | is verbal and conscious. |
| natural to be angry for a period of time. You | | | | |
| may be angry with the person for leaving you, | | | | Return To the Willingness To Love. This is |
| angry with yourself for what you did not do | | | | the final stage of the grieving process. |
| to save them or angry with God for taking | | | | Healing has occurred, and the grieving person |
| them away. You may just be angry at the | | | | is able to laugh again and to get involved in |
| unfairness and injustice of life. Healthy | | | | life. Fear can slow you down or even stop you |
| anger management techniques may be essential | | | | at this point, because new love means the |
| here. | | | | risk of new loss. By honoring and completing |
| | | | all aspects of the grief process, however, |
| Guilt. There seems to be a human tendency to | | | | you will overcome your fear and move forward. |
| blame yourself when something happens to a | | | | This occurs through an appreciation for |
| loved one. In loving someone, you | | | | yourself and the life you are left to live. |
| automatically take some degree of | | | | Nurturing your inner child is an excellent |
| responsibility for her or his welfare. It is | | | | tool to use to help you through the entire |
| only natural to question yourself for a | | | | grief process, and particularly as you move |
| period of time after your loved ones die. | | | | back out "into the world" after a period of |
| This is a normal part of the grief process, | | | | grieving. Part of the return to love also |
| but it is extremely important that you move | | | | includes remembering the love you felt for |
| through it and don't get stuck in this stage. | | | | the one you lost. The love lives on and the |
| | | | anger, guilt, pain and sorrow fade away. |
| Pain And Sorrow. These feelings often exist | | | | |
| throughout the entire grief process, and are | | | | This final stage of the grief process is |
| the core feelings of grief. In the early | | | | ultimately a spiritual one. It is a fact that |
| stages, however, you are often distracted | | | | all of us on this planet will die. You need |
| from your sorrow by denial, anger, guilt and | | | | to have some way of living, laughing and |
| the resulting confusion. Fear can also be a | | | | loving with this reality. That's where |
| tremendous barrier to the experience of | | | | spirituality comes in. True security cannot |
| sorrow, triggering all of the defense | | | | be found in another person or in any external |
| mechanisms. To truly face and experience the | | | | circumstances. You have to turn within, to |
| pain and sorrow is necessary and healthy | | | | your own concept of the infinite, to |
| however, and it moves you forward in the | | | | ultimately find peace and security in a life |
| grief process. Working with love is the key | | | | that is only temporary in its tangible form. |