| Grieving is an act of love. It begins when someone or | | | | being where the greatest loss is registered. |
| something you love is lost, and the stronger the love | | | | Release And Resolution. This stage of the grief |
| the greater the grief. The act of grieving honors you | | | | process is accompanied by a sense of acceptance of |
| and the significance of your loss. | | | | the reality of the loss, a sense of "letting go." There |
| The longer you live the more loss you experience. In | | | | may also be a degree of forgiveness that occurs in |
| order to grieve in healthy ways, you need to | | | | this phase. The denial, guilt and anger stages are |
| understand the stages of the grief process itself. | | | | over, and the pain and sorrow is not as intense as it |
| Shock. This is the body/mind's way of saving you | | | | was before. Many people ask, "How long does it |
| from the devastating pain of the loss, at least initially. | | | | take?" The answer is different according to the |
| It is a blessing at best, but at worst can become a | | | | severity of the loss and the health of the individual |
| long-term numbness to feelings that resembles a sort | | | | who is grieving. Grieving moves in cycles, and it may |
| of living death. It will pass naturally as long as the | | | | seem as if we are through for a substantial period of |
| other components of the grief process are honored. | | | | time. A birthday, anniversary or another loss can bring |
| Denial. This is your mind's attempt to protect you | | | | back many of the same feelings that were there |
| from the reality of the loss. You may lie to yourself | | | | when our loved one died. Any loss or low emotional |
| and think about the person as if they were still alive. | | | | period can bring back the feelings of loss, particularly |
| A certain period of denial is normal but if prolonged, it | | | | if you have not reached resolution. When the release |
| can keep you stuck and prevent resolution. There | | | | finally occurs, your entire body will feel it. I have |
| are many forms of denial, as varied as people are | | | | watched many people go through emotional release |
| different from each other. | | | | in their grieving, and I am convinced that it is as much |
| Anger. When you lose someone you love, it is natural | | | | a physical, non-verbal process as it is verbal and |
| to be angry for a period of time. You may be angry | | | | conscious. |
| with the person for leaving you, angry with yourself | | | | Return To the Willingness To Love. This is the final |
| for what you did not do to save them or angry with | | | | stage of the grieving process. Healing has occurred, |
| God for taking them away. You may just be angry | | | | and the grieving person is able to laugh again and to |
| at the unfairness and injustice of life. Healthy anger | | | | get involved in life. Fear can slow you down or even |
| management techniques may be essential here. | | | | stop you at this point, because new love means the |
| Guilt. There seems to be a human tendency to blame | | | | risk of new loss. By honoring and completing all |
| yourself when something happens to a loved one. In | | | | aspects of the grief process, however, you will |
| loving someone, you automatically take some degree | | | | overcome your fear and move forward. This occurs |
| of responsibility for her or his welfare. It is only | | | | through an appreciation for yourself and the life you |
| natural to question yourself for a period of time after | | | | are left to live. Nurturing your inner child is an |
| your loved ones die. This is a normal part of the grief | | | | excellent tool to use to help you through the entire |
| process, but it is extremely important that you move | | | | grief process, and particularly as you move back out |
| through it and don't get stuck in this stage. | | | | "into the world" after a period of grieving. Part of the |
| Pain And Sorrow. These feelings often exist | | | | return to love also includes remembering the love you |
| throughout the entire grief process, and are the core | | | | felt for the one you lost. The love lives on and the |
| feelings of grief. In the early stages, however, you | | | | anger, guilt, pain and sorrow fade away. |
| are often distracted from your sorrow by denial, | | | | This final stage of the grief process is ultimately a |
| anger, guilt and the resulting confusion. Fear can also | | | | spiritual one. It is a fact that all of us on this planet |
| be a tremendous barrier to the experience of | | | | will die. You need to have some way of living, |
| sorrow, triggering all of the defense mechanisms. To | | | | laughing and loving with this reality. That's where |
| truly face and experience the pain and sorrow is | | | | spirituality comes in. True security cannot be found in |
| necessary and healthy however, and it moves you | | | | another person or in any external circumstances. You |
| forward in the grief process. Working with love is the | | | | have to turn within, to your own concept of the |
| key for moving through this phase, because only love | | | | infinite, to ultimately find peace and security in a life |
| has the power to move us to the depths of our | | | | that is only temporary in its tangible form. |