| Competition is a fact of life. Some of us are | | | | love them and they are great. It can feel |
| more competitive than others and put | | | | just fine to do your best, lose, and |
| ourselves into situations that test our | | | | congratulate your opponent with a handshake. |
| endurance, strength, knowledge, perseverance | | | | Kids are ready to grasp the concept of good |
| and skill. Be it sports, writing, business, | | | | sportsmanship at different points of |
| or art, competitive situations allow us to | | | | development. Start when they are young, |
| model good behavior and teach our children | | | | continue to reinforce the message, and they |
| about taking risks and chances, being good | | | | will get it in time. Also, it is very |
| sports, having resilience and maintaining | | | | important that you model good sportsmanship |
| balance even through "edge of your seat" | | | | for your children. Parents are the most |
| times. | | | | important role model that children will ever |
| | | | have, so it is important that if you are |
| Discussing competition with our children can | | | | playing or watching them play be a good |
| be broken down into these key topics. | | | | sport. |
| | | | |
| Risk | | | | Resilience |
| | | | |
| Teach your children that taking healthy risk | | | | Losing is a fact of life. Parents need to |
| is good and that being risk averse can keep | | | | guide children through the hurt, humiliation |
| them from enjoying activities that they love. | | | | and frustration that go hand in hand with |
| Encourage them to step outside of their | | | | losing. For some children losing can feel |
| comfort zone and do things that might make | | | | like the end of the world. First praise, |
| them feel a little uncomfortable. Examples of | | | | praise, praise for a job well done. Point out |
| risk taking for young children could be | | | | what the child did right, not what he or she |
| approaching children to play at school or on | | | | did wrong; leave that to the coach or |
| the playground, trying a new instrument or | | | | teacher. Be there for your children after a |
| sport, taking the the training wheels off, | | | | loss and listen to them. Encourage your kids |
| skating, or competing in a sports league. | | | | to keep working at what they love. Allow your |
| Start encouraging your children to take risks | | | | children to vent their aggravation after a |
| early and help them build the self confidence | | | | loss, let them take a little break if they |
| that they will need as adults to interview | | | | need it and then nudge them right back out |
| for college, go for the really great job or | | | | there. Resilience means bouncing back from |
| ask for a raise. | | | | disappointment, so help them to bounce back. |
| | | | Winning is also a fact of life. Teach your |
| Remind your children that everyone feels | | | | children to win with grace and to show |
| anxious in new situations, even the teacher | | | | respect to their opponents. Let them enjoy |
| on the first day of school and the coach on | | | | their win! Remind them that their opponent |
| the first day of practice! Your kids need to | | | | might be feeling crummy. Also remind them |
| know that the child that they would love to | | | | that a win today could be a loss tomorrow. |
| play with on the jungle gym would be thrilled | | | | |
| to have a new buddy. | | | | Maintaining Balance |
| | | | |
| Try not to label a child as "shy", | | | | Introduce your children to many different |
| "introverted", or "reserved" because once | | | | activities. Sometimes as parents we only |
| labeled people find evidence to support that | | | | encourage our kids to do those sports or |
| characterization. Where can a child go from a | | | | activities that we love or that our children |
| label like that? Suddenly they are not | | | | excel at right off the bat. Listen and watch |
| expected to take risks because they are "shy" | | | | your kids play. Do their eyes light up when |
| so they do not push themselves to push | | | | they help in the kitchen? Do they beg Daddy |
| through their discomfort...the same | | | | to take them out to throw a baseball? How |
| discomfort that everyone feels to some degree | | | | about story telling or bug collecting or |
| in new situations. It is also very difficult | | | | dancing? Give them a lot of down time to |
| to change a label, so a child that was | | | | imagine and create and make believe and rest. |
| initially more reserved but who has learned | | | | |
| how to be more outgoing has a hard time | | | | Conclusion |
| shaking the initial label. | | | | |
| | | | Competition is healthy for people. It |
| Sportsmanship | | | | encourages us to put ourselves out there and |
| | | | risk failure and success. There is a new |
| Good sportsmanship is one of the greatest | | | | trend to shield children from competition |
| lessons you can teach your children. Roger | | | | because their feelings may get hurt if they |
| Federer, considered to be perhaps the | | | | lose. How could this possibly benefit our |
| greatest tennis player of all time, did not | | | | children? If children never learn how to lose |
| start winning major tournaments until he | | | | when they are young then how do they handle |
| conquered his temper on the court. His poise | | | | adulthood where life if wrought with |
| especially during the most important points | | | | difficulties: eliminated job positions, |
| makes him virtually unbeatable. He hates to | | | | relationships that go south, lost tennis |
| lose but has grace when he does and uses a | | | | matches, and financial trouble? The goal is |
| loss to further perfect his game. | | | | to prepare our children for adulthood so that |
| | | | they can face life head-on with guts and not |
| Teach your children, even when playing | | | | crumble at failure. We want to teach our |
| tic-tac-toe, that win or lose they must be | | | | children to tackle life with gusto. |
| good sports. Assure them that win or lose you | | | | |