| Competition is a fact of life. Some of us are more | | | | great. It can feel just fine to do your best, lose, and |
| competitive than others and put ourselves into | | | | congratulate your opponent with a handshake. Kids |
| situations that test our endurance, strength, | | | | are ready to grasp the concept of good |
| knowledge, perseverance and skill. Be it sports, | | | | sportsmanship at different points of development. |
| writing, business, or art, competitive situations allow | | | | Start when they are young, continue to reinforce the |
| us to model good behavior and teach our children | | | | message, and they will get it in time. Also, it is very |
| about taking risks and chances, being good sports, | | | | important that you model good sportsmanship for |
| having resilience and maintaining balance even through | | | | your children. Parents are the most important role |
| "edge of your seat" times. | | | | model that children will ever have, so it is important |
| Discussing competition with our children can be | | | | that if you are playing or watching them play be a |
| broken down into these key topics. | | | | good sport. |
| Risk | | | | Resilience |
| Teach your children that taking healthy risk is good | | | | Losing is a fact of life. Parents need to guide children |
| and that being risk averse can keep them from | | | | through the hurt, humiliation and frustration that go |
| enjoying activities that they love. Encourage them to | | | | hand in hand with losing. For some children losing can |
| step outside of their comfort zone and do things | | | | feel like the end of the world. First praise, praise, |
| that might make them feel a little uncomfortable. | | | | praise for a job well done. Point out what the child |
| Examples of risk taking for young children could be | | | | did right, not what he or she did wrong; leave that to |
| approaching children to play at school or on the | | | | the coach or teacher. Be there for your children after |
| playground, trying a new instrument or sport, taking | | | | a loss and listen to them. Encourage your kids to |
| the the training wheels off, skating, or competing in a | | | | keep working at what they love. Allow your children |
| sports league. Start encouraging your children to take | | | | to vent their aggravation after a loss, let them take |
| risks early and help them build the self confidence | | | | a little break if they need it and then nudge them |
| that they will need as adults to interview for college, | | | | right back out there. Resilience means bouncing back |
| go for the really great job or ask for a raise. | | | | from disappointment, so help them to bounce back. |
| Remind your children that everyone feels anxious in | | | | Winning is also a fact of life. Teach your children to |
| new situations, even the teacher on the first day of | | | | win with grace and to show respect to their |
| school and the coach on the first day of practice! | | | | opponents. Let them enjoy their win! Remind them |
| Your kids need to know that the child that they | | | | that their opponent might be feeling crummy. Also |
| would love to play with on the jungle gym would be | | | | remind them that a win today could be a loss |
| thrilled to have a new buddy. | | | | tomorrow. |
| Try not to label a child as "shy", "introverted", or | | | | Maintaining Balance |
| "reserved" because once labeled people find evidence | | | | Introduce your children to many different activities. |
| to support that characterization. Where can a child go | | | | Sometimes as parents we only encourage our kids to |
| from a label like that? Suddenly they are not | | | | do those sports or activities that we love or that our |
| expected to take risks because they are "shy" so | | | | children excel at right off the bat. Listen and watch |
| they do not push themselves to push through their | | | | your kids play. Do their eyes light up when they help |
| discomfort...the same discomfort that everyone feels | | | | in the kitchen? Do they beg Daddy to take them out |
| to some degree in new situations. It is also very | | | | to throw a baseball? How about story telling or bug |
| difficult to change a label, so a child that was initially | | | | collecting or dancing? Give them a lot of down time |
| more reserved but who has learned how to be more | | | | to imagine and create and make believe and rest. |
| outgoing has a hard time shaking the initial label. | | | | Conclusion |
| Sportsmanship | | | | Competition is healthy for people. It encourages us to |
| Good sportsmanship is one of the greatest lessons | | | | put ourselves out there and risk failure and success. |
| you can teach your children. Roger Federer, | | | | There is a new trend to shield children from |
| considered to be perhaps the greatest tennis player | | | | competition because their feelings may get hurt if |
| of all time, did not start winning major tournaments | | | | they lose. How could this possibly benefit our |
| until he conquered his temper on the court. His poise | | | | children? If children never learn how to lose when |
| especially during the most important points makes | | | | they are young then how do they handle adulthood |
| him virtually unbeatable. He hates to lose but has | | | | where life if wrought with difficulties: eliminated job |
| grace when he does and uses a loss to further | | | | positions, relationships that go south, lost tennis |
| perfect his game. | | | | matches, and financial trouble? The goal is to prepare |
| Teach your children, even when playing tic-tac-toe, | | | | our children for adulthood so that they can face life |
| that win or lose they must be good sports. Assure | | | | head-on with guts and not crumble at failure. We |
| them that win or lose you love them and they are | | | | want to teach our children to tackle life with gusto. |