| Sixty per cent of Americans are overweight, | | | | Much of American pride comes from their |
| many of them obese. It's the fattest nation | | | | accomplishments in producing material goods. |
| in the world. Who around the world is racing | | | | There is no doubt that we are king of the |
| to join that club! Do you realize that many | | | | hill with regard to consumer goods. |
| Russian women are afraid to come to America | | | | |
| because they are afraid they will become fat | | | | We have surrounded ourselves with camcorders, |
| like the rest of Americans? | | | | wide screen projection televisions, Palm |
| | | | Pilots, cellular phones, and surround sound |
| Americans, as a rule, dress for comfort. Some | | | | entertainment systems. There is no end to the |
| would say they dress like slobs. Go to any | | | | number of labor saving devices that we own, |
| amusement park in America and you will see | | | | or should I say, owns us. |
| pudgy, mashed potato colored thighs sticking | | | | |
| out of unattractive shorts. | | | | We are number one in the world in |
| | | | consumption. We drive around town in our |
| They may be wearing a tee shirt with a slogan | | | | heavy duty, four wheel drive sport utility |
| on the front that says "I'm with Stupid," or | | | | vehicles, braving the rugged terrain of the |
| something equally as idiotic. They may have a | | | | shopping mall, transporting groceries from |
| ridiculous haircut such as a Mullet or a | | | | store to home, children from one activity to |
| Mohawk covered by a baseball hat with | | | | another, and pets to veterinarians. |
| artificial dog feces on the bill. Many are | | | | |
| sporting tattoos of the Zig Zag Man or other | | | | We consume forty percent of the world's oil |
| cartoon characters on their skin. | | | | resources in the pursuit of these worthy |
| | | | goals. And to pay for all this consumption, |
| Many Americans Dress Like Slobs -- They Call | | | | we have both spouses working overtime to pay |
| It "Comfortable." | | | | for mortgages that are the size of small |
| | | | countries' Trade Balances. |
| Look at the way the Russian people dress. | | | | |
| When they have the means, they dress | | | | We are taking high blood pressure medication |
| immaculately. How many Russians do you think | | | | and serotonin uptake inhibitors like Prozac |
| want to see their children dress like the | | | | and Paxil to deal with all the stress of |
| Americans I just described? | | | | paying for the leisure products we own. |
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