| Time and again we spot a cartoon in one of | | | | perverse act be it in men or women |
| our local dailies with the caption that | | | | (lesbianism) belittles the very reason man |
| begins 'love is …' The electronic | | | | and woman were created - To become one in |
| media continues to give us a diet of soap | | | | love. "it is not good for man to live alone. |
| operas in which the main theme is love - In | | | | I will make a suitable companion to help |
| all its forms. Walking down any street, you | | | | him. So … God … formed woman |
| can't help but yield to the magnetic force | | | | (Genesis 2:18;22). If God had intended for |
| calling your attention to the message on a | | | | man to share his love with another, He |
| billboard, 'true love waits' and afterwards | | | | certainly would never have created the woman |
| go on musing over the meaning of this human | | | | as his companion or the other way round for |
| emotion that has to 'wait'. The big question | | | | the woman (or would He!). |
| centers around unearthing the mystery behind | | | | |
| this four-letter word that has been on the | | | | Mature love |
| lips of humanity since the beginning of time. | | | | |
| | | | Mature love is true and is a divine gift from |
| The notions advanced by some notable writers, | | | | God bestowed upon humankind from the moment |
| laureates and philosophers are diverse and | | | | the creator said, 'let's make man in our own |
| interesting if not outrageous. The legendary | | | | image'. When the last touch was applied to |
| Greek philosopher, Plato, described love as | | | | this masterpiece of creation, love was |
| 'a grave mental disease'. The English poet, | | | | installed as an in-built trait, to be |
| Daniel Samuel, viewed it as 'a sickness full | | | | discovered and enhanced between two people |
| of woes, all remedies refusing'. Still | | | | and never to be 'made' as the stereotype |
| continuing in this strange elite train of | | | | goes. |
| thought, Ambrose Bierce, the American | | | | |
| journalist and author, described love as 'a | | | | It does not imply sex but instead sex should |
| temporary insanity curable by marriage or by | | | | be viewed as secondary to the romantic |
| removal of the patient from the influence | | | | experiences two love birds share in a |
| under which he incurred the disorder'. | | | | relationship and designed to be the |
| | | | completion of intimacy. Hence sex before |
| Once even the music group 'SWV' posed a | | | | marriage isn't the culmination of love, it is |
| question in their debut album 'New beginning' | | | | simply fornication! |
| as to why love is the way it is with pain and | | | | |
| joy existing in a single emotion! The '70s | | | | Often in our relationship our spouses our |
| group, 'Nazareth' concluded that love is a | | | | spouses prompt us with the challenge of |
| knife that was meant to cut and cause pain. | | | | proving our love. Sadly, for many of us, the |
| | | | response is usually sexual. Such love is |
| Such is the stand held by some of the world's | | | | short-lived because sooner or later the |
| intelligentsia and celebrities regarding this | | | | orgiastic flavour dies away and the longing |
| word which is as old as the universe itself. | | | | for other 'greener, uncultivated pastures |
| Perchance, the mystery enshrouding this | | | | increases. There are many ways of proving |
| blossom of romance is an indication of the | | | | our love other than through sex - in fact as |
| complexity of the phenomenon and also a good | | | | many as there are stars in the sky! Let me |
| reason why so many have fallen victims to its | | | | take you down memory lane for a while. Do |
| captivatingly enchanting spell oblivious of | | | | you recall that gift you bought her on her |
| its true nature! | | | | birthday last year or the executive pen you |
| | | | bought him last month? How am I doing so |
| Looking at the expressed sentiments above, it | | | | far? Remember that wonderful walk in the |
| is very easy to conclude that love is a force | | | | park you had together once or twice |
| straight from hell but maybe some words from | | | | reflecting, amidst laughter, the many |
| the other side of the elite caste shows | | | | obstacles you went through to be where you |
| otherwise. The great human rights activist, | | | | are today or better still, recall that one |
| Dr. Martin Luther King, described it as 'an | | | | tempting evening after a brief disagreement |
| image of God … the living essence of | | | | with your girlfriend, you coincidentally get |
| all divine nature which beams full of | | | | visited by the lady next door with some very |
| goodness'. Emerson Waldo, the American | | | | 'hot proposals' up her sleeve and despite the |
| essayist, called it 'the highest word and the | | | | fact that your guard is down and you are |
| synonym of God'. So at least there is a good | | | | psychologically weakened by the earlier |
| side to love after all! | | | | incident with the lady you love, you summoned |
| | | | enough strength within you to say NO? such |
| Love is a special and unique experience that | | | | is the nature of true love. |
| every human has to have at one time of his | | | | |
| life, whether it is apparent to him or not | | | | Your love is proven when Paula and Greta, |
| (even Hitler had a love life!). | | | | your supposed best friends, gang up to topple |
| | | | your love empire with malicious accusations |
| We are all afraid of the empty feeling of | | | | against your boyfriend and you tell them |
| separateness and aloneness because we are | | | | right to their faces that 'he was at home |
| social beings incapable of solitude. In | | | | all day' or 'Tom wouldn't do such a thing' - |
| seeking companionship, we indulge ourselves | | | | because you know him well enough to know he |
| in relationships that we feel could, or might | | | | is not that type. |
| satisfy our instinctive desire for love and | | | | |
| affection. In this quest, we become | | | | Woe to those who don't know each other well, |
| entangled in varied forms of relations - Some | | | | they are not truly in love. Love is about |
| exciting and others an outright defamation of | | | | trusting each other with your most intimate |
| an otherwise beautiful experience. This | | | | secrets. |
| quickly brings to light two broad categories | | | | |
| of love, mature and immature love as is | | | | Suffice it to say, true love is also about |
| elucidated in the next few paragraphs. | | | | giving. It is in our giving that we |
| | | | experience comfort and peace in a |
| Immature love | | | | relationship that is supposed to be very |
| | | | symbiotic. Our giving, though, has grown |
| Sadism | | | | into a kind of competition. If last |
| | | | Christmas you received a wristwatch from her |
| Also called the love of possession, it | | | | this Christmas you make sure you outdo her |
| embodies a relationship in which one partner | | | | with an even grander gift. This show-off |
| derives pleasure and satisfaction by | | | | game continues to a stage where you are both |
| inflicting pain on the other. The sadist | | | | smothered in a financial crisis that spells |
| dominates every aspect of the other's life, | | | | doom for your relationship. If only the |
| shredding every bit of the beloved's | | | | exchange of gifts could been seen for its |
| identity. The beloved becomes a subdued | | | | symbolic value instead of the big price tags |
| shell of a human being conditioned to hold | | | | and prestige that it comes with, how |
| dear a doctrine of never rising above or near | | | | beautiful this love would be! |
| the sadist in ideas or actions but rather to | | | | |
| take pleasure and pride in accommodating all | | | | Fruits Of True Love |
| manner of physical and psychological torture | | | | |
| and humiliation. In the final analysis, the | | | | True love is a productive engagement that |
| persecuted partner's identity as a person is | | | | bears fruits that depict its maturity. The |
| killed and the sadist is still alone and | | | | fruits of love are, among others, care, |
| separate. Sadism is not about co-existence | | | | respect, responsibility and knowledge. |
| of two people who love each other, it is a | | | | |
| total domination of one by the other in a | | | | Care is about showing concern for your |
| relationship where the submissive partner | | | | be-loved, respect entails seeing the |
| ceases to exist. | | | | uniqueness and individuality in your lover in |
| | | | a light like no other person alive can. You |
| Masochism | | | | love her because she is unique, you adore |
| | | | him because he is 'one in a million'. |
| This is the opposite of sadism. Known also | | | | Respect those traits in the be-loved that |
| as the love of submission, the masochist | | | | make him or her unique because they are what |
| thinks he has found atonement by submitting | | | | attracts you. Change them and you will find |
| to the tortures of the lover. The masochist | | | | yourself without a reason for loving! |
| becomes submerged in a mission to please the | | | | Responsibility ni love is shown in the |
| beloved. In futility, the submissive lover | | | | ability and willingness of the lovers to |
| exaggerates the qualities of the beloved to | | | | respond to each other's needs be they |
| the extent of even idealising them. Before | | | | financial, educational or social. |
| the masochist's eyes, the beloved is like a | | | | |
| demi-god, to be worshiped, obeyed and wholly | | | | Finally, true love is full of knowledge. It |
| trusted. The love of submission subsists | | | | is this last fruit that enlightens the lovers |
| because of a warped logic in the mind of the | | | | and causes them to rise above the common love |
| masochist that he evades separateness and | | | | stereotypes like, 'love is blind', 'love |
| aloneness by being 'one' with the beloved. | | | | without sex is dead', or the more popular |
| | | | 'there's no romance without finance' idolised |
| True indeed, the beloved is ever present and | | | | by the popular '80s song going by the same |
| the masochist is thus never alone but in | | | | title. These, and many others, are |
| reality, the masochist lacks initiative to | | | | misinformed notions devoid of knowledge. |
| contribute positively to the relationship. | | | | Through this fruit, our eyes are open to the |
| What is seen as love is, in actual fact, | | | | marvel and beauty that no one else can behold |
| slavery! | | | | in those we love. |
| | | | |
| Homosexuality | | | | At the end of the day we can, I hope, face |
| | | | the advertisements, captions and the |
| This is a form of love which for a long time | | | | billboard messages with a renewed confidence |
| has never been spoken so openly like it has | | | | since we are better placed to understand that |
| in the last few years when the advocates of | | | | this little thing called love is patient and |
| this strange love have had the audacity to | | | | kind, isn't jealous, conceited or proud, |
| declare it openly and even seek its legality | | | | isn't ill-mannered, selfish or irritable and |
| in society. We need not look far to see how | | | | doesn't keep a record of wrongs, is not happy |
| unfulfilling and immature this love is , "do | | | | with evil but with the truth, it doesn't give |
| not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, | | | | up and its faith, hope and patience never |
| it is detestable (Leviticus 18:22)". Clearly | | | | fail. |
| God denounces this form of love. This | | | | |