| To Wrap or Not To Wrap?
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| | to me in analogies. "Daddy, given a
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| 09th May 2007
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| | present without gift wrapping it is like
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| Author: Dr. Murray Trillionaire
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| | playing with a Barbie dolls without any
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| When you have kids, it's inevitable that
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| | Barbie clothing. It's boring and no
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| they will have friends. And it's
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| | fun." I shot back, "Camille, gifts are
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| inevitable that those friends will have
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| | like people, they are never as fun as you
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| birthdays and thus birthday parties.
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| | want them to be!" "Daddy, gifts are like
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| Between pre-school and dance class and
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| | people, they don't want to be ugly. My
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| all her other after-school activities, my
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| | gift wants some pretty wrapping paper."
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| five year old daughter Camille has
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| | O.K. I needed to change tactics.
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| several hundred "best friends". So
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| | "Camille, you know gift wrapping paper
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| Camille does a lot of birthday parties
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| | can be quite expensive?" "Papa's right.
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| and thus, so does her daddy. I often
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| | He says you're cheap. You're cheap."
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| find myself realizing about ten minutes
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| | "Papa says I'm cheap? When did he say
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| before we are to leave for a party that I
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| | that? Just because I buy generic laundry
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| completely forgot to get a gift. Gifts
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| | detergent. It's the same thing! Because
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| are not optional. So last week I was
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| | I add a little bit of water to the Minute
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| quite proud of myself when I bought the
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| | Maid Fruit Punch? It's so sweet."
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| gift during the week actually several
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| | "Gift wrapping takes about ten minutes as
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| days in advance.
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| | well and it never looks that great unless
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| So no need to stress this time. I've got
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| | you're a professional gift wrapper. If
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| everything under control- so I thought
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| | you think about the thousands of gifts
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| until about five minutes before we needed
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| | you wrap in a lifetime, you are spending
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| to leave for the party. I never gift
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| | days if not weeks of your lifetime
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| wrapped the present and had no
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| | wrapping gifts, using paper that will
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| "acceptable gift wrapping paper in the
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| | only be shred apart as someone excitedly
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| house. Life is all about how you market
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| | sees what's underneath. If gift wrapping
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| everything, so I thought long and hard
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| | paper is so important, why don't we just
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| about how I was going to sell Camille on
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| | give out empty boxes as gifts. Isn't it
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| the wonderful fact that there would not
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| | the thought that counts? Has the world
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| be any wrapping paper. Will she even
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| | just gotten that superficial?"
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| notice? If she does, let her know that
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| | Nobody was listening to my rant. Camille
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| daddy is saving the environment. Why
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| | had left for the party with Papa, who
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| should a tree die for often cranky,
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| | being French, had some Chinese silk that
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| spoiled Amanda? Who needs the extra
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| | could be used as wrapping paper hidden
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| garbage? We are saving the planet.
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| | under the bed. Amanda was getting a
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| As we're leaving for the party with a
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| | beautifully wrapped Barbie doll and guess
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| Barbie Princess in my hand, Camille
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| | who's probably getting an empty box for
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| scolds me, "Daddy, we forgot Amanda's
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| | Father's Day!
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| gift!". "Camille, I have the gift right
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| | Dr. Murray Trillionaire is a reknowned
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| here in my hand." "No, Daddy, you have a
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| | world expert with doctoral degrees in
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| Barbie doll in your hand. You forgot to
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| | Yiddish Country Music from Brigham Young
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| gift wrap it. You have to gift wrap it."
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| | University and the History of Medieval
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| No Cami sweetheart, I didn't forget. I
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| | New Jersey from the University of
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| know how much you and Amanda love trees,
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| | Atlantic City. He is the founder of the
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| and wrapping paper comes from trees. So
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| | psychological school of thought commonly
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| we are saving a tree by not putting on
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| | known as Trillionairism that believes
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| wrapping paper, and this way Amanda and
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| | that the answers to all of mankind's
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| everyone else at the party gets to see
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| | problems can be found in the lyrics of
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| right away what you got for her." Camille
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| | pop songs from the 80s (particularly
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| was pissed. She got her "you've got to
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| | those from Culture Club). He is a
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| be the stupidest father in the world face
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| | tireless advocate of getting paper mache
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| on" and just stared at me. Since, in
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| | building recognized as an Olympic sport
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| general, Camille thinks I have a limited
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| | but is not sure if it should be part of
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| intelligence, she often explains things
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| | the Summer or Winter Games.
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